Have you ever heard yourself saying this: “Gosh! I just can’t explain how it all happened. It’s a mystery to me!” Well, I have said the same thing a few times in my life, and one of those times is when I heard Jesus’ call and followed Him.
I had never dreamt of becoming a nun and least of all, to be a Sister of St. Paul de Chartres.
I came from a pagan family in Hong Kong and had a poor opinion of the Catholic Church and Catholic nuns. However, God did not think the way I thought. Then, very unexpectedly, my father was baptized and became a Catholic when I was 10 years old. A month later, my youngest brother died. Before he died, he was baptized and was given “Paul” as his Christian name by my father. The following year, our whole family got baptized. Four months later, I sat for the Year 6 Public Exams and when the result was published, I was allocated, to my great horror and disappointment, to the very school I dreaded most to enter – St. Paul’s Convent School run by the Catholic nuns – the Sisters of St. Paul de Chartres!
“You did not choose me, I chose you…” (John 15:16)
I begged my father to allow me to reject the government’s offer and to apply to another equally prestigious school to study. But my father refused to listen to my nonsense! So, I tried everything I could to fail in my school exams so that I would be “kicked out” from my school. To my great distress, I passed in my final exam and was promoted to Year 8. At the end of that academic year, something happened which changed my whole life. The Lord used a young, enthusiastic and holy Irish priest (a Jesuit) to preach a Retreat to us at school and I was so impressed by his personality and moved by his vocation story that I began asking myself whether I too, could be like him to give up everything to follow Jesus in a radical way: to love Him with all my heart, my will and my strength, and to love my neighbors as He has loved me. Gradually, I began to take an active interest in my spiritual life. I joined the Legion of Mary, sought the advice and guidance of my Religious Education teacher – an English nun who willingly consented to be my mentor. I also started to intensify my prayer life, to establish a closer relationship with God by frequently attending weekday Masses and by receiving the Sacraments, especially the Sacraments of the Holy Eucharist and Reconciliation.
Three years later, I sat for my School Leaving Certificate Exams. Two months before the Exams, the Hong Kong Provincial Superior of the Sisters of St. Paul de Chartres asked me whether I had made up my mind to enter the convent. I was uncertain at that time because I felt I was too young - only 16½ years old and not sure whether Jesus wanted me. So, I asked God for 2 signs : firstly, my parents will permit me to enter the Convent without placing any obstacles; secondly, the Congregation will accept me despite my young age and my lack of experience in the school of life. To my great surprise and contentment, my request for certainty and confirmation was answered immediately without any ambiguity in an “interview” conducted in the presence of Mother General’s representative from Rome, Mother Provincial of Hong Kong and my parents. With the blessing of my parents, I joyfully entered the International Novitiate of the Sisters of St. Paul de Chartres in Rome a month after my Public Exams!
Throughout my Novitiate days and even until now, the Lord has never let me down. I have had many happy and grace-filled days in my religious life; but I also had experienced many moments and periods of pain and suffering, doubts, frustrations, failures and disappointments. But through them all, God was always by my side and had never abandoned me. I am indebted to my parents, relatives and friends, my fellow-Sisters in the Congregation, my colleagues at work and parishioners for their unfailing support, encouragement, unconditional love and generous hospitality. They are constantly an inspiration for me and a reminder of God’s grace, his loving presence, and tender care.
My life belongs to God, and in Him I live, move, and have my being. Each new day is another affirmation of His gentle love and an invitation to enter more deeply into His Paschal Mystery and the mystery of the Trinity. As I watch the new dawn each morning, I am humbled and my heart is filled with thankfulness for having been called by Jesus to live His life, to do His work, to be His eyes, His ears, His hands, His feet, His heart! I can find no better words to express my love and gratitude to Jesus than to repeat the “Magnificat” which our Blessed Mother had summed up so beautifully in these words:
“My soul magnifies the Lord, my spirit rejoices in God my Savior … He has done marvels for me, holy is His name.” (Luke 1: 46,49)